An apology to children of divorce

Posted on June 3, 2014 by Sunny South News

An apology is in order to all children of divorce coast-to-coast and around the world. Divorce is rampant in today’s disposable society, leaving children of divorce trying to pick up the pieces and recover from the often devastating turmoil it causes.

Yes, it is up to the parent(s) to raise well-adjusted and healthy kids but along the way children of divorce are no doubt left scratching their heads, wondering what went wrong.

Assuming children of divorce are aware of the situation — parents no longer able to sort things out — many children of divorce will never truly understand why the two most important people in their life are going their separate ways. Even though children of divorce are often told no matter what happens they will always be loved.

Children are resilient but not unbreakable, they bounce back from many hardships when growing up but it still doesn’t make it right. Divorced parents deserve to be happy, that is true, but children of divorce must adapt and evolve because of someone else’s actions, plain and simple — not by choice of their own.

Children growing up in a dysfunctional family, which is the norm these days and always has been, hopefully grow up healthy, educated, and wise. It is hoped children of divorce are equipped with the necessary coping mechanisms and skills to conquer the world before them with a smile on their face and a job well done.

Bleeding hearts of the world exclaim, “What about the children?” What about the children indeed?

Yes, a home full of bickering and low blows is no place to raise a family but sadly it is a reality for many in today’s selfish and all about me world, in which we co-exist.

But… children of divorce, no doubt, have their reservations about what’s best for mom and dad and the kids. It has to be one of the hardest things for a child of divorce to absorb the brunt of the tragic end of their parents reign, as husband and wife. Burdened with the task of loving both mother and father, when emotions are ripe with anger, hurt and not knowing what to do or who to turn to.

How can a parent fix a broken relationship? Simply put, once a relationship is on its last legs it’s time to pull the plug and open up the Pandora’s Box of consequences, which may occur.

Divorce is not easy, no matter if the divorce is for all the right reasons. In the end, it has been said, the kids suffer.

Sure, a divorced parent will move on and hopefully be happier with the change in living arrangements and circumstances and maybe children of divorce may eventually warm up to the idea.

Two Christmases perhaps and birthdays, two vacations, two houses to move back and forth from and so on and so on. That is what children of divorce can count on, if both parents can work something out.

Divorce puts a tremendous strain on children. Children, from a divorced household, might say — “My parents are divorced. I’m used to it” — in regards to their thoughts on how life is after the ‘D’ word and when children of divorce spend the rest of their lives living in two separate households, away from one parent or the other when visiting back and forth, having to say goodbye to one parent or the other for a weekend or longer, adjusting to a new, but not necessarily better way of life.

For most children of divorce… it sucks. There is no other way to explain it. The situation, for children of divorce, is complicated and some children of divorce may never truly overcome the obstacle.

Sure, some children of divorce may move on and be all that they can be without any traces of discontent or contempt for their parent(s).

For some children of divorce, the parents prior to the divorce, were terrible and the home was a ticking time bomb and the divorce was necessary so all involved could make it out almost unscathed.

Children of divorce — please accept an apology from all the parents in the world who are divorced. Many divorced parents feel a great deal of guilt because of what their actions caused.

Divorced parents… give your child or children an extra hug, tell them they’re loved and utterly important, take the time to get to truly know them, ask them how they feel and let them know they can share their thoughts, be a good role model, and most importantly… love them and tell them that you do.